Date Rape
Date Rape Not all sexual attackers are strangers who jump you in the streets. Sexual assaults can take place during social interactions such as dates while you are out with someone you know.
Beware dodgy drinks
In most
cases of 'date rape', alcohol is the substance used to assist in forcing
non-consensual sex from a partner. In other cases, drinks may also be
'spiked' by date rape drugs such as GHB, rohypnol and ketamine so that
resistance is neutralised or to render the victim unconscious.
Girls are raped not always by strangers, but also by persons they
know, who may be friends or boyfriends. Here is what your daughters need
to know.
Most parents teach their daughters to beware of strangers, never to
accept drinks or a lift from unknown people and in general to be
cautious when dealing with the unfamiliar. However, cases of date rape
are becoming more and more common in urban India, especially amongst the
middle classes and more affluent sections of society. Girls are raped
not by strangers, but by persons they know, who may be friends or
boyfriends.
Although as a parent you may want to throw a protective shell around
your child by preventing her from indulging in many social activities,
this is not always advisable, since she will not be with you forever and
needs to learn how to cope by herself.
Friends
Often parents go to the extent
of preventing their daughter from having male friends. This can be
counter-productive. If your daughter has friends that are boys, it will
be easier for her to figure out another man's nature and intentions. So,
encourage healthy friendship with the opposite sex, and do your bit by
getting to know her friends. Call them over to your place, spend a
little time with them whenever they come over, and for younger children,
get to know the parents of your child's friends.
Judgment
Teach your daughter to use her
judgment and trust her instinct. Do this by trusting her judgments
yourself, so she learns to have faith in herself. Very often she may
come across people that make her uncomfortable, but because she feels
she should give them the benefit of doubt she may take a step that lands
her in trouble. If someone makes her uncomfortable, tell her to have no
qualms about refusing to meet with such a person - and she should never
feel guilty for turning down a date, or for example a well disguised
ploy for meeting alone such as a request for help with studies.
Transportation
A number of date rapes take
place on the way back, after a party or night out, when the boy or a
group of boys drop the girl back home. Generally when traveling home at
night it is safer if a girl is accompanied by a trustworthy male, but
the problem arises if the boy or boys are immoral. Often, this is a
matter of judgment, and if your daughter at any stage feels unsure about
whether she is safe with someone, once again, tell her to trust her
instincts and to back off.
Teach your daughter the importance of having her own transportation, and
once she gets a job, instead of spending all her money on clothes and
shoes, encourage her to make her first investment in a car. Once your
daughter has her own transportation, she reaches a higher 'safety
level.' When she arranges to meet with someone she does not know well,
instead of asking him to pick her up or drop her off, she can meet them
directly at a public place such as a restaurant, and can leave on her
own. She can also leave a party early if she wants to, without having to
depend someone to drop her back. However, she does need to be
responsible, make sure there always is enough petrol, get her car
serviced regularly, and carry a cell phone.
Distance
A rule of thumb for travel at night: As far as possible, opt for a venue close to your home.
Friends
Often parents go to the extent of preventing their daughter from having male friends. This can be counter-productive. If your daughter has friends that are boys, it will be easier for her to figure out another man's nature and intentions. So, encourage healthy friendship with the opposite sex, and do your bit by getting to know her friends. Call them over to your place, spend a little time with them whenever they come over, and for younger children, get to know the parents of your child's friends.
Teach your daughter to use her judgment and trust her instinct. Do this by trusting her judgments yourself, so she learns to have faith in herself. Very often she may come across people that make her uncomfortable, but because she feels she should give them the benefit of doubt she may take a step that lands her in trouble. If someone makes her uncomfortable, tell her to have no qualms about refusing to meet with such a person - and she should never feel guilty for turning down a date, or for example a well disguised ploy for meeting alone such as a request for help with studies.
A number of date rapes take place on the way back, after a party or night out, when the boy or a group of boys drop the girl back home. Generally when traveling home at night it is safer if a girl is accompanied by a trustworthy male, but the problem arises if the boy or boys are immoral. Often, this is a matter of judgment, and if your daughter at any stage feels unsure about whether she is safe with someone, once again, tell her to trust her instincts and to back off.
A rule of thumb for travel at night: As far as possible, opt for a venue close to your home.
Personal responsibility for personal safety
Take responsibility for keeping yourself safe from date rape by taking a look at the recommendations below:- Remember to watch how much you're drinking
Alcohol is the most common rape drug (your drinks can be spiked with alcohol or more alcohol than you think). - Be aware of your tolerance to alcohol
If you feel odd, nauseous, or unusually drunk after a couple of drinks when you'd normally feel fine, go somewhere you feel safe. - Tell a friend if you think your drink was spiked
If you are with a friend you trust, tell them why you're worried. Get them to help you home and ask them to stay with you until the drug has worn off. - Seek assistance
If you are alone or with a stranger, go to the pub landlord or manager and ask for their help. Wait in their office while they ring your partner, a friend or a taxi to take you home safely. - Don't let a stranger help you
They could be the person who spiked your drink. - Never ever leave a drink unattended
If you go to the toilet or out for a cigarette, take your drink with you or finish it before you go. If for whatever reason you have left it unattended do not drink it. - If a stranger offers you a drink do not accept it
Even if workmates or acquaintances offer you a drink make sure you see it either poured or opened and ensure that no one touches it except the barperson prior to drinking it. - Undetectable
Remember many of these drugs are tasteless, odourless and some are colourless. - If you meet someone new at a party don’t go home with them
Don’t invite them back to your home or accept a lift from them. Arrange a second date in a public place to get to know the person better. - Pay attention to your instincts
If you feel uneasy about someone, there may be a reason – don’t give them personal details about yourself and don’t arrange a second date.
Write your thoughts: We are still working on designing and developing this Blog but we would like all visiting our Blog to give with your thought and point of vie on various subjects, Write to us at
Join Hands if you wish to be part of our Team and share your Ideas for a Better society
email : info.kenfoundation@gmail.com
Note: views are personal.